The Elves are Watching

Mina wants two things for Christmas:

THIS and THIS.

We spent a few minutes this morning looking them up online.

I told her that she could ask Santa, but I wasn't sure if he would bring both of them (why does she have to have such expensive taste?).

I'm pretty sure I'll get her the talking parrot even though the squawking will drive me to drink. The Fuzz Luv thing may or may not happen. I've seen them priced anywhere from 39.99 to 99.99. Do I really want to spend that much on something else that makes noise?

It could be worse. Last year, both girls begged for THIS.

Lucky for me, they've since set their sites lower.

Part of me knows that I could bring home a bunch of refrigerator boxes and they'd be happy as pie.

After explaining to Mina that Santa doesn't always bring everything we ask for, she pulled me aside to share some inside information:

"Mama, I need to tell you something."

"What's that?"

"Mama, the elves watch us to find out if we are good or bad, and they tell Santa. I've been good, so they looked on your computer to see what I want and they went back to the workshop to make me those toys."

Creepy, right?

I'm picturing a hoard of little elves carrying out some sort of covert focus group. They sneak into the house while we're sleeping, carrying clipboards and 'thinking outside the box'.

Birds are stupid

While I was outside having my morning coffee, a couple of birds flew into the screened in porch. That was at about 8am.

It's almost 4pm and they're still flapping around in there. They can't figure out how to get out.

I tried enticing them with bits of bread crumbs at the door, but they didn't seem to notice. They'd rather fly into the screen, getting their beaks stuck, and leaving holes all over.

I tried shooing them out with a broom, but all that did was cause one of them to drop dead on the floor.

I really thought I gave it a heart attack, and I immediately burst into tears. It just laid there for a few minutes, not moving.

After that episode I decided better to ignore the whole matter until Jim got home. I like to leave the dirty jobs to him, like when one of the babies would poop in the tub during their nighttime bath.

"I've got a surprise for you in the bathtub," I would sing to him when he walked in the door after work. Worked every time.

As it turned out, the bird was not dead--only playing dead. How fucked up is that?

Maybe they're not as stupid as I thought.