College was way more fun the first time around

I've got Mommy Guilt.

I've always hated that term.

I started my math adventure this morning. After a brief bout of nausea and some cold sweats I've decided that I am going to kick this class's ass. I have to just get over the fact that I haven't taken a math class since my sophomore year in college and I'm way out of practice. It probably doesn't help that that last math class was statistics and I was chemically altered for much of it.

I passed it though. I think I got a C. He must have been grading on one hell of a curve.

Because my class starts at 8am Mondays and Wednesdays, I cannot drive the girls to school those days.

It's not that Jim is incapable of covering that duty either. He pulls his weight around here in spades. I'm lucky that his work schedule allows him to do it too.

I just can't over the fact that I feel like I am shirking my responsibility as a Mom.

I quit my job to stay home with my girls almost 4 years ago. It's a decision I never saw myself making. However, though I want to hide in the bathroom with a bottle of bourbon some days, it's been one of the best choices I've ever made.

I know how lucky I am to have that choice in the first place. I know that going back to school is important and that, again, I am lucky to have the choice to do it. I know all this, but because it is something that is just for me, I feel guilty.

I guess in the big picture, this is not all for me. Once I am done with this degree then (hopefully) the next, I will be in position to have a new career to provide a future for my kids that doesn't include student loans and money worries.

My furthering my education is not only a benefit to me, but to my girls. Also, once I have a real live paycheck with health insurance benefits, I can lighten the load on my husband. I know it doesn't seem like a dude who runs a comic book store would work his ass off, but he does. He might have a great time doing it, but he pours a lot of himself into it.

He doesn't worry about money like I do which is good. He plays the straight man to my neurotic kookoopants around here. I know money shouldn't matter, but it sure seems to when you're not real sure if it's going to be there when you need it.

We have a home, food on the table and the utility bills paid so I shouldn't complain. And I'm not. I just get nervous about the state of the economy right now. People don't put comic books high up on their list of "needs", so I know the bottom could fall out at any moment.

And maybe that all ties with the guilt I am feeling. I'm spending money to go back to school when we should be saving as much as we can in case the well dries up. But I need to go back to school to get a job to have money to save.

Blabbity blah blah.

Just tell me to get over it already.

I think I'll pass

I got this email today from the president of the PTO at Mina's school. I've taken the liberty to remove any identifying information from it because I'm feeling a little paranoid today, but the rest is in its original form.


Good morning everyone!

I hope that your families have had a great beginning of a new school year! It's always so much fun getting new school supplies and clothes and shoes and getting to see all your friends you miss from last year! I still love a new box of Crayola crayons!

Doesn't (school name) look wonderful! It's amazing how quickly and how well they've gotten all the classrooms renovated!!! What a great place for our children to learn!!!

I just wanted to drop you a short line to let you know that we will be meeting for the first 2008-2009 (school name) PTO meeting on September 8th at 6:30 pm at (school name). Our meetings will be on the 2nd monday of each month for the whole school year with the only exception being in October. We will meet on October 6th instead!!!

We will be providing childcare during the meetings this year by high school students! So if you would like to come but don't have anyone to watch the kids, please feel free to bring them.

The data base is being created so we can keep more folks in the loop of happenings, so please forward this to all your friends at (school name) and ask them to reply so we can put them on the list as well!

We look forward to seeing everyone at the meeting!!!

Please call me if you have any questions!

Jamie M*****
(phone number removed)


What the holy fuck is with all the !!!!!!'s?

Who's this excited about the PTO? Why is she yelling at me? What's she like in person? Was she drunk typing?

I think I'm too scared to go.