Awanas Update

First, thanks to those that responded in the other post. All valid points and much appreciated.

Second, we decided to let her go. Once.

I had to call Bethany's Mom to see what she could bring to the class Valentine's Day party this week, and she brought up how much Bethany is "dying to bring Mina to Awanas".

It's tonight and meets from 6:15 until 8:15. Mina is usually dead asleep by 8:15 every night, so I made sure to make it very clear that this wasn't going to be a regular thing, but "we'd love to have Bethany over for a playdate anytime".

Turns out tonight is "Bring a Friend" night down at Awanas HQ. Hmmm....

I really didn't want to let her go because I was trying to avoid the "Mommy and Daddy are godless heathens" discussion for a later date. Now, I am letting her go so we can have that discussion.

I've even got a nice analogy all planned out.

Dearest Mina,

You know how when we go to ice cream store and you always get vanilla, but Audrey always gets chocolate? It's a choice you make for yourselves.

Audrey wouldn't try to cram a big bowlful of chocolate ice cream down your gullet day after day until you decide you suddenly love it.

In turn, you aren't going to ring her doorbell in the middle of the day when she's trying to take a nap and try to force her to eat vanilla.

There are so many flavors of ice cream out there and everyone has their own personal favorite. Who are we to judge who's flavor tastes better for each individual?

I used to love ice cream until I got older and developed a touch of lactose intolerance. Now when I eat it, it makes me feel gassy and uncomfortable.

Kind of like Jesus.

Love,
Mama


I'll let you all know how it goes.

I don't wanna...

Mina came home from school on Friday begging me to join Awanas.

Just fucking shoot me now.

If you've read a post of mine here and there, you would know by now I am not what one would call "religious". Pretty much the polar opposite if we're going to split hairs here.

At the beginning of the school year, the school sent home a flier about an informational meeting for Girl Scouts. When I asked Mina if she was interested, she looked at me as if I had offered a steaming pile of shit for dinner.

"No way, Mama. They make you potty in the woods!"

Um...huh?

I guess she thinks the Girl Scouts are some kind of hippie commune living off the land or perhaps some sort of militia. Who knows where she gets this stuff.

I want to tell her that Awanas is basically just Girl Scouts sprinkled liberally with jesusdust, but that would probably only make her want to go more.

Mina told me that Bethany does Awanas, and Bethany is her "very best friend" so NATURALLY Mina wants to do it too. I know you can't always pick who your kid wants to hang with, but why oh why did my kid have to pick to most jesus-y kid in her class to latch onto?

Jim and I are so torn on this. On the one hand, we don't want to keep her from making her own decisions in this arena. On the other, I don't want Mina coming home with a hundred plastic fetuses and a mailng list.

Thoughts?

The Salty Meat Family Gets Guitar Hero: Hilarity Ensues

The girls put on their princess gear and rocked the fuck out. Check it.

I think they get it from their Dad

While I was cleaning up from making cookies yesterday afternoon, my children managed to tie their butts together.

Mina took a string belt off of one of her dresses and tied one end to the crotch of her underwear and the other to the crotch of her sister's underwear.

After freeing them, Mina shared some of her inner thoughts with me.

"Mama if I was a zombie, I would feast on your brain."

They really are good girls, bright girls and not prone to these types of things often. When they do get on a roll however, it's pretty much a wealth of hilarity.

The other night at dinner, Mina told me that she decided she loved Alex in addition to Matthew R.

"Well," I told her, "You can't marry both Matthew and Alex. You'll have to choose between them."

"No Mama," (eyeroll), "I"ll marry Matthew R. and Alex will be my boyfriend!"