Sunday, December 23, 2007
No taking the Christ out of Christmas here. No siree.
I can't wait to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Saviour by opening presents, chowing down and getting deee-runk. Wahoo!
An invitation was extended to The Sweet Baby Jesus to partake with us, but He's a bit busy around this time. His Mother's always harping that he never visits, so He takes time out (on His damn birthday of all days) to go over to her house.
He gets to endure hours of "You look so skinny! Aren't you eating?" and "You never call!" and "When are you going to go back and get your degree? You coulda' been a doctor, but NOOOOOO. You had to give it all away to help all those people who don't even like you."
He promised he'd show up for a spell on New Year's Eve. I'm sure He'll need a stiff one after dealing with The Blessed Virgin from Hell.
I just hope he doesn't pull another party foul like last year. Seems Jesus turned a little bit too much water into wine, and started yelling at everyone. He's a mean drunk, if you didn't know.
"Crucify me, motherfuckers! I can totally come back from the dead! DUUUUUDE, I invented Christmas! DO IT, or I will smite you!"
It was really embarrassing. More embarrassing that realizing that he wasn't wearing anything under the robe.
Love in Christ and Bacon,
For Your Scrapbook
- ► 2008 (100)
- My blog is sluttier than your blog
- I think they get it from their Dad
- Just like the Girl Scouts, but drunker
- Party Crasher
- More goddamned xmas cheer
- Merry CHRISTmas!
- Kind of makes me want to eat some pussy and have a...
- I need a hug
- Adventures in Womanhood
- Thank you Heather
- The Elves are Watching
- Restoring my faith in humankind
- My kid is weird
- The Shakes
- ▼ December (14)