The world's abuzz with the news of another Spears baby. Big whoop. I've got a bigger scoop.
Mina's getting married.
She informed me of the impending nuptials as we walked to the car after school today.
I should have known something was up when I saw her hanging out next to him after school the other day. She wouldn't leave until he gave her a piece of gum, and she seemed a little too giddy over it.
It all starts with gum, doesn't it?
His name is Matthew R., and they are planning way ahead. It seems they want to marry each other when "they are bigger". It was discussed and agreed upon at recess.
Someone get me a fucking valium because I am so not ready for this.
Mina told me that her friend Caeli (gawd, I hate the "unique" spellings some parents come up with) is going to marry Hunter as well--and they've kissed.
KISSED! In Kindergarten! What.the.fuck?
Mina denies any lip smacking, and she'd better not be lying.
I'm not exaggerating when I say that just a week ago Mina was telling me that she doesn't ever want to get married and plans on adopting a bunch of babies that I apparently will help her raise.
How did this happen? They are SIX years old.
Tomorrow is the big "Holiday" party in their classroom. I plan on giving this Matthew R. the once over.
I suppose I need to check out my future son-in-law. I hope he has nice teeth.
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11 comments:
My son had a girl in his kindergarten class named "Myrakol". In case you can't figure that out, (and why should you be able to?) that's "Miracle". I totally hate creative spelling myself.
Val: "Myrakol"?! Oh sweetbabyjesus. That's just not right.
I got engaged at age 6 with a cracker jack ring but I told him we couldn't kiss until after we were married because I wasn't ready to make a baby in my tummy yet.
I'd hug you but we don't know each other very well, so I'll just pat you on the hand and say, "It'll be OK, don't worry."
It's too early to tell about his teeth. They're only his first set.
Lunch Lady: "It's too early to tell about his teeth. They're only his first set."
HA! This made my day.
I totally married Heather McDougal in the kindergarten. It was great. I believe a kid named John was the overseer. If you need me to talk to this child I will come down.
Oh and I had a student named Deeva. Yeah she totally was to.
Josh: Don't even mention it when you see her. She's not taking any shit on this one (and it's freaking me out).
That's adorable. I really think the kindergarten marriage is a right of passage. But I won't say a thing. Can't wait to see yous guys.
I was betrothed at birth to my mom's best friend's son. My sister was betrothed to his brother. Well, neither worked out and we married other people...the best laid plans...LOL
I'm glad to hear Mina changes her mind often. I blame the adoption thing on Angelina Jolie...
Kate: One of my best friends has sons about the same age as my daughters. We had the same devious plan as your mother and her friend.
Looks like ours isn't going to work out either.
When my daughter was in kindergarten she often talked of a boy named Jimmy. Jimmy this, Jimmy that, I love Jimmy.
One day, I asked her if she wanted to marry Jimmy when she grew up.
She looked at me very earnestly and said, "Oh no. I can't."
"Why not," I asked.
"Because he's black."
I was thunderstruck! Our family is not racist, and as far as I know no one had ever voiced such a sentiment in her presence. And yet, my sweet, innocent little five-year-old had picked up that message from our twisted society.
Some of my best friends were engaged to be married well before the third grade. Some of them even arranged "ceremonies" with their grooms during recess, complete with a child minister and all. But, don't worry, they were all divorced by the end of the week.
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