The Mister and I listen to WLS in the morning because apparently we are sadists. It's the only explanation I can come up with, aside from the old "know your enemy" adage. We'll catch Hannity and Colmes or The O'Reilly Factor for the same reason. I used to listen to Rush here and there, but my erratic driving and retching was putting my children at risk. Also, I didn't want to accidentally make them NeoCon assholes.
For the past week or so, a piece of my morning entertainment has been missing and replaced with yet another talking ass of the male persuasion.
Where's Eileen Byrne?
I've missed her special brand of over-the-top cuntiness, her holier-than-thou spouting, and the warmth of her hateful spew. She was like my discount Ann Coulter. Who's going to save me from my Liberal ways? Who is going to save my heathen soul?
How will I waste my cell phone minutes if I'm not waiting on hold to tell her that the Pay by Touch machines at Jewel are surely a sign of the Apocalypse or that I plan on breastfeeding my children in public until they are in sixth grade?
I never even got a chance to golf with her at one of her special WLS outings. Surely she would have regaled me with stories of her perfect Catholic life. We could have gotten really drunk. I could have "accidentally" punched her in the face.
Now what am I supposed to do?