Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Can't I just take a pill?

I dragged my ass to the gym today. I've been slacking off because of the move, vacation and just general summer mayhem, so it was time.

I decided to take it easy and not take the class I would have normally taken on a Wednesday. It involves a lot of cardio, and I wasn't really in the mood to have a heart attack today.

I was making my way around the weight machine curcuit when one of the gym's personal trainer guys walks right up to me and starts saying something. I couldn't hear him at first because I had Ira Glass blaring in my ears, and frankly I was a little confused.

I don't talk to anyone around me at the gym unless we are in a class together. I feel weird even making eye contact with anyone while I am on the weight machines, and here's this guy I don't even know striking up a conversation with me.

"Would you like me to show you a better way to work out your chest?"

"Excuse me?" A thousand snarky and/or pervy retorts immediately flooded my brain.

I think the gym is trying to drum up business for their personal trainers so they are sending them out on what essentially boils down to "cold calls".

I can just hear their morning meetings:

"Well guys and gals, no one wants to pay the ridiculous personal trainer fees we have so why don't you get out there and try to get some of our memebers hooked by giving out a few freebies. Try the "mom types" first. They're desperate for attention."

I figured it wouldn't kill me to see what this personal training thing was all about even if I'll never have the extra funds to actually hire one.

He was nice and seemed to know what he was talking about. He was sort of cute in a clean cut way, but...he was wearing cologne. Why cover up the very thing you are trying to be while at the gym?

Sweaty can be sexy, though for the record, there are different kinds of sweaty. Sweaty from exercise, mowing the lawn, sex or fixing shit is hot. Sweaty from the anticipation of getting to the next level of a video is not.

So this cologne-wearing pretty boy is showing me some free weight stuff and some stability ball exercises I can do and offers me a free session. Free is good.

Then he asks for my name and phone number, "I'll call you tonight if I have any kind of scheduling conflict."

Part of me hopes that he does have some sort of conflict. It feels really strange to have someone standing there, watching me do exercises and now I have to do it for a whole hour.

What have I gotten myself into?


yllwdaisies said...

Be prepared, he's nice now. When you have your hour session w/ him, he's gonna try to break you.

I think they push you past your limit on purpose in their introductory sessions to make you feel inadequate & make you think that you really need some expert help to get through this.

I've never had a personal trainer. I've gone to my gym (almost) daily for the last 7 yrs, & watched them in action.

Chaylene said...

yllwdaisies: Good to know! Won't he be suprised when I puke all over fancy sweatshirt?

Tanya Espanya said...

I've used a trainer before, a girl. My friend and I shared her so it was a bit cheaper. I think it's good if you have a short term goal. My friend was getting ready for her wedding and I was getting ready for my 10th wedding anniversary cruise.

Chaylene said...

tanya: I think if I had the money, I would definitely hire a woman.

Grant Miller said...

He'll get sweaty when he calls you. I know the type.

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

I interviewed a kid for a job today. He had sweaty hands. After he left, my boss and I used hand sanitizer. He didn't get the job.

That's an example of bad sweat, I guess.

Chaylene said...

grant: I doubt it. Guys like that don't get sweaty for girls like me. It's OK though. The feeling is mutual.

bsuwg: There's nothing worse than a bad handshake.

Phil said...

Time to switch gyms.

Winter said...

But it's free. I love free stuff.

Beth said...

I need — no, my ass needs — one of those. But I worry about him bullying me and scaring my so-needs-it ass away from the gym.

hanmee said...

I do the same thing. I don't blare my music, but I play it just louder than whatever music/radio they have playing over the loudspeaker. I want to actually hear if people are ATTEMPTING to talk with me (e.g. "Are you done with those weights on the floor?"), but have the deniability if there is casual conversation involved.

For me, he would have lost points for wearing cologne at the gym.

And I HATE when people come up to you to explain how you are doing it wrong. If I'm going to immediately hurt myself, please tell me. Otherwise, leave me alone. I had one chick do that to me at the gym one time and it turns out she didn't know squat.

I try to blend into the walls as much as possible so I hate being talked to/noticed.

Coaster Punchman said...

Think up all sorts of lies to tell him about yourself while he's making you work out. It will be fun.

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