Saturday, March 22, 2008

Hey Kids!

We're going to the DMV today!

Isn't this what you wanted to do over your Spring Break? I know I did! I can't wait!

In January, my license expired and I had to renew it. No big deal. I found my way over there on a morning I didn't have any kidlets with me so I could wait in line without having to explain away the weirdos and miscreants who always seem to be there when I am.

The guy at the counter tippity typed up my name into the computer, then told me that there was a problem with my social security number.

Being the paranoid kook I am, I immediately assumed someone had stolen my ID and used it for some kind of illegal activity.

I asked the guy what was up, and he asked me if my name had changed.

Uh...yeah. Almost ten years ago.

So, even though I have renewed or replaced my license at least three times since I received it eighteen years ago, I now needed to get a new social security card to prove I am who I say I am.

Two trips, two weeks and an excavation into the basement "files" and I now have a new social security card with my "real" name on it.

Oh, and when I went in to apply for a new card, I couldn't use my driver's license for identification because it was expired.

I felt like at some point, I was going to cease existing.

The best part is that during all this running around, my plate sticker had expired by about a week.

I was driving around with an expired DL, an expired plate sticker and an invalid social security card.

Jim said that if I got pulled over, not only would they haul me off to jail, it would probably be Guantanamo Bay.

(I thought it would be funny to insert a funny little quip here about how I am "such a terrorist", but then decided that putting all the key words in this post together into a Google search would probably garner me a friendly visit from the FBI...oops, there I go with some more key words).

Luckily, I have a valid passport.

So, it's off to the DMV today, kids in tow.

Light a candle, say a prayer, or just send me some good mojo that the smelly, itchy-looking people aren't in line in back of me. I can only hold off the kiddy-stares for so long.


SkylersDad said...

Wow, you hit the tri-fecta! I am amazed that you haven't been pulled over and been waterboarded.

Bubs said...

Ah yes, the Illinois Secretary of State...what a wasteland. If only you'd owned a politically-connected driver education school you could've just paid 'extra' for your documentation and gotten it done instantly.

Mrs. F said...

OMG, the picture that accompanies tis post is hilarious!!!

Good luck at the DMV today, I know that is the last place I ever want to go with the kids. There and the Social Security office to get a new SS card :)

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