Hey Kids!

We're going to the DMV today!

Isn't this what you wanted to do over your Spring Break? I know I did! I can't wait!

In January, my license expired and I had to renew it. No big deal. I found my way over there on a morning I didn't have any kidlets with me so I could wait in line without having to explain away the weirdos and miscreants who always seem to be there when I am.

The guy at the counter tippity typed up my name into the computer, then told me that there was a problem with my social security number.

Being the paranoid kook I am, I immediately assumed someone had stolen my ID and used it for some kind of illegal activity.

I asked the guy what was up, and he asked me if my name had changed.

Uh...yeah. Almost ten years ago.

So, even though I have renewed or replaced my license at least three times since I received it eighteen years ago, I now needed to get a new social security card to prove I am who I say I am.

Two trips, two weeks and an excavation into the basement "files" and I now have a new social security card with my "real" name on it.

Oh, and when I went in to apply for a new card, I couldn't use my driver's license for identification because it was expired.

I felt like at some point, I was going to cease existing.

The best part is that during all this running around, my plate sticker had expired by about a week.

I was driving around with an expired DL, an expired plate sticker and an invalid social security card.

Jim said that if I got pulled over, not only would they haul me off to jail, it would probably be Guantanamo Bay.

(I thought it would be funny to insert a funny little quip here about how I am "such a terrorist", but then decided that putting all the key words in this post together into a Google search would probably garner me a friendly visit from the FBI...oops, there I go with some more key words).

Luckily, I have a valid passport.

So, it's off to the DMV today, kids in tow.

Light a candle, say a prayer, or just send me some good mojo that the smelly, itchy-looking people aren't in line in back of me. I can only hold off the kiddy-stares for so long.

I've been watching way too much reality television

Suggested titles for forthcoming Pussycat Doll songs:


Look at My Snatch!
Who Wants a Ham Sandwich?
Attention Whores Need Love Too
Best Cocksucker in da House (dance remix)
Doncha' Wish Your Drag Queen Was Hot Like Me?
(Oops) I Forgot my Panties
One Pretty Decent Singer and Some Filler
Hot Nubs

The Shakes

My husband's laptop died so he took mine to work with him on Friday and I just got it back last night.

Which do you want first?

I always pick the "bad news". I like to end on a high note.

The Bad News:
Last night Audrey puked her entire dinner back onto her plate. She's not sick this time. I think I just shouldn't let her have a juice box with dinner. She sucked it down like a camel and it just didn't agree with her I guess. I am really sick of cleaning up barf.

The kitchen sink is cloggity clogged and I can't use my dishwasher either as it is backing up into it as well.

I have to pay someone to come fix it.

Winter has arrived. Sitting outside with my laptop and cigarettes isn't as enjoyable when I'm shivering.

Starbucks still has not called me back about an interview. Now I have to call and do the whole "just checking in" bullshit.



The Good News:
I can pull my size 6 pants off without unbuttoning them (straight out of the dryer!).

I have an excuse to go shopping.



Not sure which category this goes in:
I am woefully addicted to Scrabulous on Facebook.