We're having an open house this afternoon.
Since none of the other open houses or private showings have sold my house, the only conclusion I can come to is that I am going about this all wrong.
Maybe people don't want a sparkling clean house or uncluttered space. Perhaps I've misjudged the general house buying public.
I've decided that, instead of busting my ass to keep things neat for today's showing, I am going in a whole new direction.
Before: Floors swept and mopped to a blazing shine.
Today: Muddy dog paw prints and a puddle of juice in the middle of the kitchen floor.
Before: Beds made, belongings neatly stashed on shelves and in closets.
Today: Covers pulled down to reveal "wetspot" in master bedroom, handcuffs still attached to the bedpost.
Before: Back porch swept, ashtray dumped and hidden.
Today: Half empty, cigarette-filled beer bottles on back porch.
Before: Back yard mowed and poop scooped.
Today: Pile of dog feces on back steps in shape of Mt. Rushmore.
Before: Leave promptly at start time and leave the showing to my real estate agent.
Today: Stick around and have a few drinks. Proceed to verbally harass and/or make sexually suggestive comments anyone who stays for more than five minutes.
Wish me luck!
For Your Scrapbook
- Bacon Lady
- I like stuff and things. I've been married for close to 14 years and have two miniature versions of myself running around (and it frightens me most of the time). I have never been nor will I ever be a vegetarian.
9 comments:
I think you're on the right track here. I'd be more willing to buy a house from someone who has that much fun.
This is something I'd do too.
I mean, all that effort - for what? Time to give it your - um, nothing.
Also, make bacon just before the start time, & offer it to the guests. Ppl will buy houses that they can see themselves makin & eatin bacon in.
Thats so crazy it just might work.
Excellent use of "wetspot." A+
Good luck!
Nudity sells.
Walk around naked, going about your business. Have contracts at the ready so they are too entranced to notice what they're signing (10% over asking, their first born, etc).
Oh, and fry the bacon. Nudity and bacon is a double whammy.
(PS - Have you tried perhaps a staging expert or at least online staging tips? Perhaps, as the owner of the house, there is something you have overlooked? Another thing....perhaps install a camera of some kind in case they make comments?)
Sounds like good times.
oh, that is perfect. love the wetspot and ciggy stuffed beer bottle.
so.... did it work?
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