We're having an open house this afternoon.
Since none of the other open houses or private showings have sold my house, the only conclusion I can come to is that I am going about this all wrong.
Maybe people don't want a sparkling clean house or uncluttered space. Perhaps I've misjudged the general house buying public.
I've decided that, instead of busting my ass to keep things neat for today's showing, I am going in a whole new direction.
Before: Floors swept and mopped to a blazing shine.
Today: Muddy dog paw prints and a puddle of juice in the middle of the kitchen floor.
Before: Beds made, belongings neatly stashed on shelves and in closets.
Today: Covers pulled down to reveal "wetspot" in master bedroom, handcuffs still attached to the bedpost.
Before: Back porch swept, ashtray dumped and hidden.
Today: Half empty, cigarette-filled beer bottles on back porch.
Before: Back yard mowed and poop scooped.
Today: Pile of dog feces on back steps in shape of Mt. Rushmore.
Before: Leave promptly at start time and leave the showing to my real estate agent.
Today: Stick around and have a few drinks. Proceed to verbally harass and/or make sexually suggestive comments anyone who stays for more than five minutes.
Wish me luck!
For Your Scrapbook
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