I had the honor of being grilled by none other than Grant Miller of Grant Miller Media. I feel special, and not in a grocery-store-bagger-at-Kroger kind of way either.
I met Grant back in 1991 at an arts camp for high school kids (ironically enough in the very town I live in now), so if you want some juicy dirt on him from his youth...actually I don't have any, but I'd be happy to make something up.
You and I actually know each other from the real world, but we haven't seen each other since 1993? 1994? Describe why you stopped returning my phone calls.
Well if you'll recall, it wasn't phone calls but letters I stopped returning. I wish they weren't packed in the storage unit. They are still hilarious to read 13 (or is it 14?) years later. Nothing blackmail worthy, but I could be convinced to share them in the future (royalties to be discussed at a later date).
I think I stopped returning them because I was busy doing important college stuff like getting drunk, hopped up on drugs, and having lots and lots of casual sex. That took up most of my time.
2. You worked in a hair salon in Bloomington, Illinois. What's the best way to style a mullet.
Funny you should ask. Just today I saw a man jogging down the street dressed in a 1985-era Bears jersey, matching shorts and knee high sports socks (with stripes). He had a white terry cloth headband holding down a glorious mullet/porn star moustache combo. I teared up a little.
He had the right idea. It's not just about 'business in the front/party in the back', but the look as a whole. One must commit to the mullet, for the mullet is not merely a hairstyle, but a way of life.
3. Keep the sideburns or shave them off?
You could shave them level with the top of your ears and start religiously watching NASCAR. Don't forget to pull back out that free tshirt you got from sending in your Marlboro carton UPCs.
4. You're trying to sell your house. What lies have told prospective buyers or their realtors?
If I get a little hint as to who's doing the looking, I "stage" the house. One time, I knew a professor from the private college in town was looking, so I put out a few pretentious books on the end table. If I know they have kids, I make sure the art table in the dining room has a couple of the kids' drawings set out on it.
One time I almost left something really embarrassing out that would have only appealed to a vampire.
5. Why should people read your blog?
I like to use the word "cunt" in many different forms. Also, I am friends with you which makes me awesome by proxy.
For Your Scrapbook
- ► 2008 (100)
- Why my husband gets to buy an obnoxiously large te...
- And now, onto the more important stuff
- Aw Yeah, Bitches
- If you can't say anything nice, we're probably bes...
- Oh, fercryinoutloud
- Daniel, my brother
- Cooler Than Jesus
- But I don't have any freckles
- Resistance is Futile
- Things to know before going to the salon
- Welcome to the Bacon Show
- Switching it up
- Grant Miller Asks the Tough Questions
- Pants on Fucking Fire
- ▼ May (15)