Not dead yet...

Once again, I have slacked on the ol' Bacon Blog. Didya' miss me?

Had a fantastic time at DisneyWorld!

We drove up Friday night and stayed at a hotel near the airport. It was a really nice place. We would have enjoyed it more if we didn't have to get up at like 3 o'clock in the morning to get ready for our flight.

We got to Orlando around 1pm on Saturday and checked into our super swank hotel. We were at the Magic Kingdom by 2.

It was so weird to just...go. With kids you need to plan and pack stuff and make sure everyone's gone to the bathroom and tell them to quit bickering or you'll turn the metaphorical car around, blah blah blah. That day, we just walked into the park and commenced the fun.

We stayed at that park until about 7, then headed over to Epcot. We'd never been there, so we didn't know what to expect. Um, I pretty much LOVE Epcot at night.

We headed straight for the World Showcase and located the Germany section. Somehow we lucked into a table for their dinner. Holy shit, was it good.

I got a beer flight (or is it a flight of beer?). Good food and great beer! What more could I ask for?

They seat you "family style" at this place, so you sit with people you don't know. There was a family at the end of our table that we didn't talk to, but across from us was an adorable couple that we chatted with the entire time.

Turns out they both work for Disney. One of the guys plays characters from Prince Charming to the Beast (of Beauty and the Beast). The other guy does mostly dancing in the parades at the MK and Hollywood Studios. At first, they were trying to be all coy about what their jobs were. I guess they aren't really supposed to talk about it out in "civilian" life but once the beer started flowing, all bets were off.

We told them we were coming back in December with the girls. They said we should get in touch with them (we're facebook friends now, natch) and they would set up some special treatment. I'm not going to count on it, but it would be over the top fantastic if all the stuff there were talking about (priority parade seating, personal meet and greets with the princesses) actually happens. I would love to blow the girls' minds with that.

Epcot closed at 8pm so we didn't get a chance to stay very long. I honestly didn't give a crap about the rest of the park. The liquor flows at Epcot and that alone made me a huge fan!

Sunday we decided to check out Hollywood Studios. Neither of us had ever been there either and we were excited to see what was going on there.

That place is amazing!

First we did the Star Tours ride and giggled like little kids. As you walk out of pretty much every ride, there is a gift shop. We had one of those pictures taken where they put your face into a different scene. If you're ever in my neck of the woods, go down to the shop and ask Jim to show you our Han Solo/Princess Leia portrait. It's genius.

We rode the Tower of Terror and I think Jim pooped his pants a little. It actually is terrifying. I loved it.

Then, the cherry on top of the whole trip: the Aerosmith Rockin' Rollercoaster.

Oh.Sweet.Jesus.

The cheese factor is off the charts. It's fantastic.

After you get through the line (Absolutely fastpass this bitch. The line can get outrageous), you are sent into the "recording studio". The band is rockin' out when their manager comes in to tell them they are late for their show. Oh, but what about all our "friends" here? Let's bring them, of course!

Cheese upon cheese. Perfection.

The coaster itself, while on the short side, is great. Like, really really great. You pretty much go from 0-60 in like two seconds. And you go upside down. When we were riding the second time my backpack come out from between my feet. When we stopped, I had a mini panic attack thinking it was lying somewhere in the deep recesses of Aerosmith land. Luckily it just slid over to Jim's feet.

We had lunch at the Sci-Fi drive in restaurant. You basically sit in cars and watch old science fiction movies while you eat. Kitschy and awesome.

Oh, and they serve drinks at this park too!

I saw that the American Idol Experience was open, so I had to check that out. I'm a huge dork for that show, so I wanted to see what this "ride" was all about.

Right before we got in line, Jim and I got these HUGE beers from a vendor and went to wait in line. Apparently they don't want you to drink while you wait in line for this, so we had to chug our beers before queuing up.

Let's just say that made the whole thing WAY funnier that it probably was.

We went to see this Indiana Jones show and little museum-y type thing about Walt Disney.

After that, we went back to Epcot and drank some wine in Italy and France. It was so pretty out there at night. We stayed for the fireworks, then it started to rain and we caught a cab back to our hotel.

All in all, we had a blast. Our kids think we went to "the beach". They also think "the beach" has a huge Disney store where we got all the gifts we brought back.

I cannot wait to take them back in December!

Ten Years Equals PARTY!

I had a fantastic time at our anniversary party on Saturday. It was exactly what I wanted and needed it to be.


So many old friends, so much food and most importantly, lots o' liquor.


I hope we can do this again in another ten years!


I didn't take nearly enough pictures.















This is how we started, but somehow ended up with 12 bottles by the next morning. I don't have to buy wine for a year!

















Travis being surly and pervy at the same time. I love him.





Kim and Jill. This was at the start of the party, and Jill's being silly. The most ironic part is that she actually ended up like that by the end of the night. See where she's sitting? That's where she was standing as she sacrificed all her liquor back to my porch.





























We had keg issues. Three taps later, we finally had our Heineken.





Jim is no doubt saying something VERY important









Obligatory drunk hostess shot

Best.Birthday.Ever.

I had far too much fun at my slumber party. Probably more fun than a grown woman should legally be allowed to have.

No, fuck that. I did deserve it. And my wonderful friends deserved a night of drunken revelrie as well.

Photographic proof of our night. LOTS o' pictures.

Flowers from my husband before he got the hell outta' Dodge.


I made some pretty cupcakes:


Enough?


It started off innocently enough:
"Hmmm...do I start with bourbon or wine?"










Present from Travis. He thought I needed a new gym bag. Inside the gym bag were colorful cigarettes and vaginal wipes. I love him.



My husband HATES celery. Hates it with a burning passion. This one is for him.


Who's a Pretty Barbie Birthday Princess? I AM! Thanks to Meghan.


Things went downhill (in a good way) quickly. Soon we were drunk.

Apparently I thought something we really fucking hilarious. I wish I could remember what it was.




No pillow fights, but Rachel got smoochy.










Phil is mysterious.


My dogs wanted us to shut the fuck up and go to bed.


But I made Ichabod play some Wii.


Full contact Wii.




Me. 3AM drunk in three parts.







34 is gonna' be a good year.

One time I could have gone to jail

Back in college I partied a lot. Like a LOT a lot. It makes perfect sense that I never got my degree. I pretty much pushed the limits of my very being for a good four years.

But it's alright. I wouldn't take more than a handful of those experiences back, and everything turned out OK in the end. I mean, look at me now. I'm Suzy fucking Homemaker!

I was a bartender as one of my many jobs through college which meant that, on a busy night anyway, I didn't get the chance to get my personal drink on until after close at an after hours party.

Most of the bartenders went out together after close which was fun because I didn't have to be the only partially sober person walking into the mayhem of people who'd already been drinking for several hours.

One night my friend Alison and I went out after work with an old friend of hers, Pete, who was in town visiting. He was a nice guy and was game to join us for what I thought would be a few beers at a small gathering.

We got there and the party was outside. I remember it was a really warm night and everyone was sitting in the grass just chatting and laughing.

At one point I lost track of Alison. I was talking to Pete for a little bit when I looked up to see Alison in a very heated argument with some dumpy drunk guy.

Pete seemed a little apprehensive about the situation but we both knew Alison well. She could handle herself in just about any situation.

A few minutes later I could tell their conversation was getting heated...then physical. Pete and I looked at each other in disbelief. They weren't throwing punches. It was more like a very unfriendly wrestling match. It was so weird because they weren't making a whole lot of noise and it was pretty dark in the yard so no one was really paying attention.

At one point, Dumpy Drunk Dude had Alison pinned by the shoulders with his knees. He had his weight as a major advantage and I could tell Alison was stuck.

I looked at Pete, reached behind him and grabbed an empty beer bottle. I got up and silently walked over to the ruckus.

I calmly told DDD to "get the fuck off her" before smashing the bottle over his head.

I stood there for a good 5 seconds before I heard someone tell me to run. And I ran.

My boyfriend at the time (presently my husband) lived a few short blocks away and I sprinted just as fast as my short little legs could take me.

I burst into the apartment to find he and his roommate playing Tomb Raider, oblivious to my half crazed panting behind them.

"Holy shit!" I said trying to break Lara Croft's vice-like grip on their senses, "I just broke a bottle on some guy's head!"

Before I could get any reaction out of either of them, Alison and Pete came in.

"Holy shit!" Alison yelled, "You just broke a bottle on some guy's head!"

About a year later I was at the bar hanging out when some guy I didn't recognize walked up to me and told me I owed him a drink. It took me a minute to figure it out. Then, I couldn't help myself. I started laughing.

He tried to make me feel guilty about the fact that he needed a bunch of stitches that night, but I wasn't having it. I told him he deserved it, and walked away.