Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Koo Koo Kachoo, Mrs. Robinson

This morning I realized I had forgotten to go to a baby shower I was invited to last week. I feel like a complete asshole about it too. I should call her and apologize, but I don't really have a credible excuse.

This afternoon I left the house a full half hour earlier than I needed to for my daughter's swim class. I have no idea how this happened because normally, getting us out of the house with minutes to spare is one for the record books. It did however work in my favor as I had the chance to stop by the grocery store to pick a few things I needed for dinner tonight.

I found a parking place right up front and pulled in. Not until my daughter was halfway out of the car did I notice that I had taken up a handicapped space. I quickly ushered her back into the car all the while loudly proclaiming to everyone within earshot that WE HAVE TO MOVE THE CAR! I PARKED IN THE WRONG SPOT! I didn't want anyone around me thinking I was some kind of deviant cripple-hater. True, I milked the "New and Expectant Moms" parking spaces for as long as I could, but this was different. I don't think mental illness constitutes a special parking space. I had to park elsewhere.

I used the self check out because my five year old likes to help me scan the groceries. While she was scanning and bagging (hey, she wanted to), I totally got caught checking out the hottie cashier a few lanes over. I hate when that happens.

My only explanation for all this distraction is my recently acquired infatuation with Justin Timberlake.

You think I'm kidding.

I should probably hide my 33 year old married mother of two face in shame for admitting this, but I won't. I have a crush on JT.

I can't help it. He's just so damn hot and young (and really funny). By the way, have you seen him dance? Don't tell me he can't do other things well when he can move like that.

My husband knows. He went out and voluntarily bought me the new CD for Valentine's Day. He didn't so much as tsk tsk when I DVR'd the Saturday Night Live which my crushy crush hosted. He even watched it with me, ignoring whatever it was I was doing under the blanket on the couch. I'm going to wait a while before putting up the life-size stand up....at least until we move into the new house.

So there it is. Apparently I have regressed back to adolescence. Who can blame me really? I mean, I wasn't even aware sexy had gone anywhere in the first place and here he goes, bringing it back. If that's not something to write home about, well you tell me what is.

3 comments:

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

So, I guess this means you've seen the "Dick in a Box" video?

With my wife, btw, it's all about Johnny Depp.

For me, currently, it's Zooey Deschanel. But, I went through many other phases... Had a serious crush on Jodie Foster quite a while back, and Julie Delpy before that... and of course Angelina.

Winter said...

Do you know how upset I was when I found out Doogie Houser (a.k.a Neal Patrick) was gay?

It crushed the last bit of childhood innocence I have left.

Thank GOD MacGyver is still straight.

Grant Miller said...

What is it with that dude? Every woman I know likes him, except for my wife. I admit, he's always very funny on SNL.

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