Monday, January 14, 2008

A Friendly Reminder to the Fucktard Parents at After School Pickup

There is limited parking in front of the school. Please refrain from stopping your car three feet from the person in front of you instead of pulling up far enough to let another car in the line.

You are not special.

I'm looking at you BMW Bitch.

If you are driving a gaggle of children home from school--presumably other people's children in addition to your own--have enough seat belts and/or car seats for all of them.

Seeing a seven year with a toddler on her lap in the back seat makes me want to see how you'd like being thrown through a windshield face first.

Smoking on school property while waiting for your kid to come out is trashy. is swearing into your cell phone in front of little kids.

That sign that says "Buses and Daycare Vans Only"? It applies to everyone--even you, Mr. Jesusfish Minivan.

Generally, and I'm just guessing here, it's not recommended to blast your stereo at full spleen-shattering volume with kids in the car.

That is all.


Earth Muffin said...

As a parent and a teacher, I can totally relate to this post! May I publish it in my school's Parent Handbook? I promise not to change the content at all, in fact I encourage you to add more swearing.

Chaylene said...

Please do! Spread the word, Mama.

Phil said...

Same thing at my school. I listened to two parents, who were blocking the bus from parking, claim righteously that they weren't gonna move till someone made them. People, it's a elementary school bus unable to pick up your children's schoolmates. Fuckers.

SkylersDad said...

We had a parent pull into the marked off area beside the handicapped spot where our ramp on the van goes down for Skylers chair. She "needed to be close" to see her little bundle of joy come out of the school door so she could see where mommy was parked.

Get the fuck out of that spot so I can load my son bitch!

It wasn't a pretty scene...

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

It's God's law that Jesusfish drivers park and drive badly.

Pirelli Jones said...

I had no idea there were so many rules. Why don't they put up signs for who parks where...oh yeah, thanks for posting this. This must have been what you were trying to say at school the other day, sorry I couldn't hear you over the stereo.


Grant Miller said...

Can you please make this speech at my daughter's school?

Mnmom said...

Same at our school, but thankfully they are the minority. Every month our elem school has to remind everyone DROP OFF IN BACK, PICK UP IN FRONT but every day someone screws up the system.

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