Thursday, January 10, 2008

Regret meme

Katie tagged me with this one: You’ve just learned that tomorrow you will die at sunrise. Tell me the five things you regret and the five things you don’t.

The Don't Regrets:

1. I don't regret starting a blog. Though I was hesitant at first (who the fuck am I that anyone else wants to read about my take on stuff?), I'm glad I hopped on the bandwagon. It wasn't until I re-found Grant Miller digging around on the internets that I seriously considered it (read: you can blame him for this amalgam of whoosit).
I've since (both virtually and actually) met some new friends through it, and not one restraining order has since been filed. In two days, it will have been one full year since I started Better Living Through Bacon. And it's been delicious.

2. I don't regret having children. In my younger years, I honestly didn't think I would. I didn't think I had it in me to take on the responsibility and set aside my own selfish tendencies.
It's not perfect, and sometimes (all the time) I question my capabilities. Having children has tested my sanity in ways I never thought possible. If they weren't so damn cute, I'd have sold them to the gypsies years ago.
With the difficult however comes the amazing. The adoration that oozes from them all over my husband and I is payment enough for every sleepless night, every splatter of poop, and every puddle of puke (of course, they aren't teenagers yet).
Knowing that I have two mini-humans counting on me to keep my shit together gives me reason enough to try and be a better person.

3. I don't regret quitting my job as a hairstylist almost three years ago. I miss doing hair sometimes, but I don't miss hauling my kids around to get to work for a paycheck that was barely covering expenses incurred from working. How sad that it sometimes cost me money to go to work?

4. I don't regret being slutty in college. I would never buy a pair of shoes without trying them on first no matter how gorgeous or cheap they were. Some people learn by seeing or being shown. I learned by trying every pair of shoes in the shoe store.
Sure, I got my heart broken more times than I'd like to admit and maybe I should have listened to that inner voice a little more often. In the long run however, I can't say that I regret any of it (OK, maybe a couple of them).

5. I don't regret going on crazy pills. This is a recent development here in the land of salty meat, and not something I ever planned on talking about here, but there you have it.
I spent way too long ignoring the unignorable. I had myself convinced that everyone felt the way I did. They just didn't talk about it. I was wrong.
My only regret is that I didn't deal with it sooner.

The Do Regrets:

1. I regret never living alone. I went from living at home to the dorms to having roommates to getting married. I never got to enjoy the kind of freedom one has knowing a space is all one's own. I missed my opportunity to do it when I could, and until my kids move out and my husband decides to get a trophy wife, I'm SOL.

2. I regret not finishing college. I could always go back, but time and money don't grow on trees. It's always in the back of my mind though. Someday.

3. I regret not cutting poisonous people out of my life sooner. Whether it was a bitchy friend who never had anything positive to say or a loser boyfriend who couldn't tell the truth to save his life, I regret not having the balls to tell them where to go. I always seemed to fall into that trap of not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings even when the situation made me miserable. I know better now.

4. I regret not standing up for myself when I should have. I spent way too much time in my young adulthood not asking for what I wanted and/or needed. As hard and tough as I thought I was back then, that girl in her twenties would cower in front of the woman I have turned out to be.

5. I regret not owning my actions earlier in life. I also spent the better part of my 20's spending too much time blaming others for my own mistakes. With age has come the realization that I am responsible for my own choices and the fallout--and that that's not a bad thing. This to me is what led me to come to grips with my Atheism (after a whole life of being raised in a religious household).

I hope to look back on this post after a long while and not have anything to add to the bottom part of the list, but without regret what would spur us on to try new things and learn from our inevitable mistakes?

Un-regretfully yours,

The Bacon Lady


thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

As they often say on Family Feud: "Good answer, good answer!"

I certainly hear you on a few of those points.

SkylersDad said...

Takes a lot of guts to throw the truth out there for everyone to read. Well done!

Earth Muffin said...

Very well-written. You're one hell of a lady!

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

I'm with you on regrets 3,4 and 5. I like this honesty in this post.

Is that a Bacon Martini from the Double-Down or someones idea of fun with dirty dishes?

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

I never knew bacon martinis existed. Your blog is highly educational!

Beth said...

Lovely and honest. I wish I'd been sluttier in high school and college. What was the purpose of being semi-chaste???

jewgirl said...

What a beautiful post. So honest and lovely. I love and respect the things you don't regret.

You're my favorite pork product.

Bubs said...

Great post, I'll echo everyone else's comments about guts and honesty.

Crazy pills (we refer to them in the Bubs household as "happy pills") are a great thing indeed when they're needed. Good for you for having the balls to seek out the help to get them. I think MizBubs would have the same non-regrets (# 2 and #3) as you--I loved the line about selling your kids to gypsies! The Rom Baro of the big gypsy clan in this area lived about a half mile from us until he died, we used to drive by his house all the time, and the threat of being sold to gypsies was second only to the threat of being carried away and raised by badgers.

Coaster Punchman said...

It took me a few minutes to understand why you went from "slutty" to "shoes" in one paragraph. I was like "did she only want to buy slutty looking shoes? I don't get it."

And I'm not kidding.


'Bubbles' said...

Hi Bacon Lady

I'm just catching up on reading... nowhere hear writing.

I loved this post. I can relate to it so much.


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