Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I Worship at the Church of Dateline

I got a letter yesterday informing me that I had won some European lottery! Oh yes, a lottery I never entered. A lottery I've never even heard of (to be fair, I don't keep up on European lotteries).

And there was a check enclosed!

Of course, I have to pay taxes on it, and these people were kind and generous enough to make the check out over the amount of my winnings in order for me to do so.

It's just that easy.

Gosh Golly, what a lucky girl I am!

I'm sure it's all on the up and up. I mean, just the other day I was praying for a miracle. Money is tight right now, and I am on a half-assed job hunt, and out of nowhere a check for $5,000 shows up. Thank you Jesus!
I think I'll call the lottery office up right this second and give them my social security number and maybe my husband's and daughters' too. Maybe they have checks waiting for them as well!

I'm too lazy to drive to the bank, so maybe I'll throw in my checking account number so they can just deposit it for me.

This must be real. I mean, everyone knows that when times get rough, free money just appears at your doorstep.


Grant Miller said...

I'm sorry about your PMS. Chris Hanson can do no wrong in my book.

Beth said...

I got an e-mail from a woman whose husband is dying. She read my profile and thus knows I'm a good Christian woman, so she wants to give me their $7.5 million to distribute to the needy. But she can't call me because his stingy family is around all the time; we can only transact via e-mail.

I'm gonna be RICH! Want one of my handouts?

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Enjoying your blog very much, thank you!

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I like stuff and things. I've been married for close to 14 years and have two miniature versions of myself running around (and it frightens me most of the time). I have never been nor will I ever be a vegetarian.