Thursday, October 11, 2007

Italy by way of Pooptown and Shitsburg

I spent the better (or rather worse) part of an hour on the phone to Delta airlines this afternoon.

My online itinerary stated I was still "waitlisted" a few days after I spoke with a skymiles representative, so I needed to find out what was up with that.

Also, when I told my brother how pleased I was to get a nonstop flight in business class, he got pissy. It seems he wasn't planning on giving up that many of his frequent flier miles and ordered me to downgrade to coach. Apparently he needs some left in his account for when he has to fly 22 hours straight for work, and needs that upgrade in order to be somewhat presentable to the client he is meeting with. Bastard!

So I had to change my whole plan. I'm leaving a week later than originally planned and now I have two stops. One is in Detroit and the other in Newark. It's like some sort of cosmic joke. No offense to anyone reading who might live there, but these are not two locations I have ever dreamed of visiting, even if only in the airport.

But hey, at least I still get to go.

I'm not looking forward to sitting in a cramped seat for hours upon hours, but what I'm really not looking forward to is not getting to smoke for pretty much a whole day. Unless one of the airports I have to stop in has one of those crazy smokeboxes (ever see them in the St. Louis airport? It's like a zoo exhibit.), I'm SOL in the nicotine fix department.

And don't tell me to quit before I go. Don't remind me how gross it is and bad for me. It's the last vice I have, and I'm not ready to let it go quite yet.

When I finally land in Milan, I should resemble a crazed and very tired junkie on a binge.

I should really get a picture of that hotness.

6 comments:

Jenna said...

I was in one of those smoke boxes in St Louis once. A cockroach dropped down onto my shoulder. I nonchalantly flicked it off while looking around to see if anyone noticed. And took another drag.

Detroit sucks, but Newark is not bad - it was overhauled 5 years ago or something like that.

When we flew to Italy from SFO it was a nonstop 12 hour flight to London and then another 2 to Italy. And I barfed the whole way over Canada! It was so so so not fun.

So where in Italy are you going?

And Happy B-day to Mina! How old is she now?

Jenna said...

OK I just saw "Milan" - are you going south at all?

Moderator said...

Newark actually is very much like Florence, but without all the Renaissance architetcture and street art by Michelangelo.

I went to Italy in 1990. All I remember are the hot Italian donnas everywhere. I had a rough adolescence.

I actually was in Newark in 2005. It was okay.

Bacon Lady said...

Jenna: I'm actually not sure what the itinerary is yet. I know my cousin lives an hour from the Venice airport (where I was originally supposed to fly into), but other than that, I don't know. I know there will a lot of wine drinking, yummy food eating, and most likely hot young Italian man sightings.

Grant: Maybe I should just cut the trip at Newark then?

Katie Schwartz said...

you must get a picture of that, diva. I feel you on the lung noshing. there are some vices that just take a bit longer to un-vice. we do the best we can.

sorry about the radical shift in plans. you're going to have such a flawless time, though. I'm super excited for you.

Anonymous said...

And don't forget: Once overseas you can smoke ANYWHERE! Chew your food and smoke. We were south in '99 or aught-aught (Sicily, Aeolian Islands and Malta) and still smoked and did! A lot. On trains (traveler, not commuter)in restaurants, etc. I agree, avoid Naples proper, don't even leave the train station. Transfer to the commuter rail to see Pompeii and Herculaneumm, lay on the ground and scream like your flesh is burning. It feels just like you were there!
just enjoy yourself,
alison

For Your Scrapbook

My photo
I like stuff and things. I've been married for close to 14 years and have two miniature versions of myself running around (and it frightens me most of the time). I have never been nor will I ever be a vegetarian.