Dear girl holding up traffic,
I get it. You have great posture and HUGE tits. Congratufuckinglations.
Dear Garlic Press Deli,
Your pumpkin bread is so good it almost makes me believe in God. Whoever made this deserves knighthood or princessdom or at the very least, a street named after them.
Dear woman who teaches 90 percent of the exercise classes I take,
I'm sure you're a nice person in "real life" so I'm sorry for the eye lasers during class(es). I can't help but give dirty looks to someone when they are making me want to cry in public (though my waist and ass thank you for your efforts).
Dear Weather Gnomes,
Please make it nice out tomorrow so I don't feel bad for making my dogs stay outside during the birthday party.
Don't pee on the pumpkins, OK?
Dear Spellcheck function,
"Congratufuckinglations" is a word.
For Your Scrapbook
- ► 2008 (100)
- I survived
- All the credit, none of the blame
- I Stand Corrected
- I Worship at the Church of Dateline
- Oh My
- "Fuck you, you sloppy nobody!"
- Limited Time Offer--Act Now!!
- I found it charming.
- Italy by way of Pooptown and Shitsburg
- Fuck you Barbie
- Happy Columbus Day!
- Ciao, suckahs!
- Weighing In
- Lowering the Bar
- Whiny kids and poop
- And now I'm back...from outer space....
- ▼ October (17)