Friday, December 19, 2008

Just Because You Can Doesn't Mean You Should

That flapping sound you hear? That's Michelle Duggar's labia clapping in the wind.

I am fascinated with this family. I DVR every TLC special they throw at me. I can't get enough of this uber wholesome, yet creepy beyond words Stepford family.

Their way of living is so far beyond what I would ever consider for my own family, but I kind of admire Mrs. Duggar for, if nothing else, her top notch time management skills. 18 kids and she still finds time to knock boots with Jim Bob? Go on and git girl.

I decided to we were done half way through my second pregnancy and practically flew onto that surgical table months after Audrey was born to have my shit snipped and burnt closed.

The thought of having any more kids in my house sends a distinct shiver down my spine.

Don't get me wrong. I love my little darlings more than I could possibly express in words, but two is enough for me thankyouverymuch.

Far be it from me to judge how other parents manage their brood. Well, "far" may be a stretch. When it comes to the Duggars, I'm a judgemental bitch.

They're the ones who put themselves on basic cable to fascinate us with tater tot casserole and horrible haircuts. Thankfully Michelle finally reconsidered those bangs because her hair was so bad it was starting to hurt my feelings.

Then there's the way each child has a "buddy". From what I've seen on the shows, that's pretty much code for the older kids taking care of the younger ones. Again, not a huge blip on my radar, but with SO many little Duggars running around, when does each kid get time to themselves?

That must be how Michelle and Jim Bob have time to make more Christian Soldiers.

The kids seem happy and obnoxiously well-mannered, so who am I to piss on their city block long parade?

The last episode I watched was about the family taking a trip (in their own personal tour bus!) to a family reunion. On the way they stopped at the Creation Museum where evolution is just a shaky (evil) scientific (blasphemous) theory. You know--like global warming.

Oh, and the earth is only 6,000 years old.

I wanted Jim to watch it with me, but decided against it since he practically has a coronary when we watch Bill O. or Hannity for more than a few minutes.

The episode ended with the Duggars enjoying some summer fun in "modest" bathing suits and Michelle fawning all over her "Daddy" (that baby voice skeeves me out).

I just need to stop now.

Please use the comments box to share you innermost thoughts on this sideshow-quality family. Feel free to pass this post onto your friends directing them to join the discussion.

Carry on.


SkylersDad said...

It's a uterus, not a clown car.

That is all...

Dr Zibbs said...

Someone should kidnap one of the kids for a season to see if they even notice.

Wonder Twin Powers...Inebriate! said...

Yeah but after you pop out the 18th don't you win some sort of prize? Like an unlimited amount of tater tots for life or a green lit sitcom on Fox?

Earth Muffin said...

We did away with the satellite over the summer so I don't have the guilty pleasure of watching the TLC show any more. I have to get my Dugger info on the internets.

Your "Christian Soldiers" comment is a hoot!

I feel the same as you do, in regards to her amazing organizational skills, not to mention how they manage to live debt-free.

However, the whole family just kind of "skeeves me out".

Bubs said...

That show just depresses me. Their family life is like living in a Christian summer camp.

You've been tagged

Mizbubs said...

I admit it, I feel shamed by the organization and discipline. I couldn't get my two kids anywhere on time. Somewhere between five and six kids, there would have been a sad, bloody massacre.

In my (and Bubs) favor, our kids have guts and imagination, rather than looking like future spree killers.

Tanya Espanya said...

Ohhumanity, when I heard about these people I had to watch the show. I was totally prepared to hate on them, and was quite impressed with how they're big on getting the kids used clothes and stuff (Value Village is my latest boyfriend), and the kids did seem 'normal'...But I have one kid and I'm not sure I know what sex is...someone please splain to me...

(sorry for having disappeared for a while, will be a better bloggy, promise)

Tanya Espanya said...

Oh, and Skyler's dad? snort! honk! I love it!

Dale said...

I've seen about 10 minutes of the show and am completely weirded out by the whole shebang. I will however hold your line Thankfully Michelle finally reconsidered those bangs because her hair was so bad it was starting to hurt my feelings. close to my heart forever.

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