Why do they have to play such awful music in the exercise classes I go to? It's like a gay nightclub circa 1992, except without all the sexy sweaty homosexuals to dance inappropriately with. (*For the record, I LOVE going to gay nightclubs any chance I get.*)
"Cool down" is even more embarrassing. We travel from The Manhole to a cheesy, lite rock cruise ship. Celine Dion is a screeching mess of a woman. I have no interest in stretching while she's singing. Retching, yes. Stretching, no.
And why did they have to hire "Hot Guy Painters, Inc." to paint the gym? Management could have at least sent out a mass email warning me that I'd be doing squats four inches from the window they were edging. The worst part? They didn't even look up from what they were doing. Dammit people! Throw a girl a bone.
I like exercising. It makes me feel better, sleep better and ultimately squelches any guilt I feel about the cupcake I ate after breakfast this morning.
For me, it's not really about health though. If it were, I would have given up cigarettes and french fries a long time ago. It's about vanity.
I'm chugging through my 30's here and after a couple of babies, the body starts to rebel a bit. I absolutely refuse to wear "Mom Jeans". High-waisted, peg-bottomed pants will never hang in my closet. I also refuse to willfully wear anything with words printed across the ass, but that was an executive decision passed down in high school. And no sweat pants. Thank the babyjesus for yoga pants (all the comfort, none of the humiliating elastic).
In order to still be able to shop for fun clothes and not cry in the dressing room, I work out. I have to. My genetic makeup demands it.
I suppose the gym may be onto something hiring these delicious young men to repaint the walls. Maybe it's subtle motivation.
I'm not sure what they're thinking with the music.
For Your Scrapbook
- ► 2008 (100)
- If that's what you're into...
- Triple Dog Dare
- I feel like ass
- One time I was nice to the Jesus People
- Dear Loud Lady in my exercise class today
- Battle of the tumors
- Suddenly I feel like a genius
- I'll cut a bitch
- They make pills for this, don't they?
- Quality Family Time is Important
- Help The Police
- This all I have today
- One time I hated my (old) job
- Gonna' make you sweat
- Nobel Peace Prize
- Are you really that suprised?
- Throw down
- ▼ March (19)