Saturday, March 24, 2007

I'll cut a bitch

Apparently the couple that was, as my real estate agent put it, "in love with the house" are on the fence now. They practically told my realtor to expect an offer. Then their crazy bitch realtor lady, Caroline, stepped in to fuck it all up.

It appears she has been planting the seeds of doubt in their minds.

Our house is old, built in 1912. The wiring is up to code, but we do not have as many amps as a new construction home, and Caroline told them they might be able to get homeowners insurance because of it.

Total bullshit.

When I told my husband this, he was incredulous. We have homeowners insurance. We couldn't have gotten our mortgage without it. What kind of realtor tells their clients lies?

If this couple thinks they are going to find a better house for the price, they are deluding themselves, and I think they know this. Caroline however, is apparently out to lunch.

I keep imagining what else she is telling them.

"They keep a dead body in the basement."

"Plaster walls give you cancer."

"In houses built before 1925, your insurance requires a spiritual cleansing. That can get pretty pricey."

"Hitler was born here."

The whole situation is making me stabby.


Love Monkey said...

ha! stabby!

I cannot believe how hard it is to sell a house now. Wasn't it not so long ago when a ghetto house was on the market for like 2 hours before sold for double the asking price?

Hanmee said...

What a witch. How did you find out their realtor was saying these things to them? Would it be possible to counteract any doubts by some sort of honest discussion.

I mean, it's not like they will find out later they can't get insurance. Besides the obvious fact that YOU have insurance, you usually can't get the mortgage and do the closing without securing the insurance so it's not like they'd be stuck with a house and no insurance. DUH.

If they are really that concerned about it, they could include that in their conditional offer, but it's really a non-issue!

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

While a rational approach to this problem is probably adviseable, it would make for great blogging if you did as your most excellent title suggests and cut the bitch.

Tankboy said...

You do mention the inter-dimensional wormhole in your basement, right? I mean, I would think that would actually be a selling point ...

Grant Miller said...

Are you serious about Hitler? That's fucked up.

Chaylene said...

love monkey: Apparently the bubble has burst.

hanmee: My thoughts exactly.

Patrick: I was thinking of having all my friends call and make appointments to see her listings, then cancelling at the last minute.

Jim: We're taking it with us to the new house, but everything is negotiable.

Grant: No, of course I'm not serious. It was actually Stalin.

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