Dear people who sold us this house,
I don't remember anywhere in the sale contract asking for you to leave random hairs everywhere, but thanks for allowing me the pleasure of wiping someone else's pubes out of the bathtub. That was a real treat!
It's also super awesome that we get to buy new outlets (not outlet covers, actual outlets) for every room in the house. I think it's soooo great when people are too lazy to paint around them. Kudos to you!
Let me extend my heartfelt gratitude for the bleach spots on the carpet in the basement as well. That looks SO GOOD right there in the open like that!
By the way, it's called a fucking mop--floppy strips of material attached to a long stick, dipped in cleaning solution, rubbed about the floor in the event there is an accumulation of dirt. Check your local supermarket. I hear they sell them there.
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